Await

Life is funny. Not haha funny just, funny, you know? The things that show up to show us, teach us, and make us grow. For some – like me – you go along life living in a way, care-free and oblivious… until one day a boulder lays in your path. It feels immovable, as if this rock solid structure could never give way from the efforts of your body pushing against it. You feel as though this is it, this is where your path ends. You feel completely lost & then as you sit and contemplate this – for one, maybe two years or so you realize the entire time you have been learning, shifting, moving and you phase on through… or you at least gain a new perspective, an awareness of matter, of yourself… that you have the potential to move through, as if it was air. You come to the other side and you’re like wow! Isn’t this great! This whole new awareness, you become alive again! You appreciate the little things in life. With gratitude, with love, with a new and fresh lens as if before you were looking through hazy rain clouds that never ended. It’s beautiful really when the sky clears. The horizon seems bright – beautiful and oh so magical. You stay in this state awhile – enjoying life this way. & then the clouds come again, along with the confusion, the feeling of being lost in the vastness of life. Where do you belong? What is your purpose? You ponder once again… how to move through life in a way that is free flowing rather than stagnant and solidified – as if this is the only way to exist? “We have the possibility of finding ourselves at a deeper level only when we are really lost” – Well, universe – I feel pretty lost right now. At what level can I find myself again? When will the smoke clear? I will sit and wait here… pondering in front of the boulder I see in my path.

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